


Fifty Shades of Gold

by ParodyQueen (AranthianPrincess)



Category: 50 Shades of Grey - E. L. James
Genre: Christian Grey really is gay, M/M, author does not like source material, author only skimmed relevant parts, fifty shades of grey AU, non-affectionate parody, or the source material's source material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 17:46:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2317988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AranthianPrincess/pseuds/ParodyQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Christian Grey really was gay? </p><p>I'm thinking the story would have been a lot more interesting... not to mention a hell of a lot shorter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty Shades of Gold

**Author's Note:**

> This fan-fiction came about after a conversation I had with my sister while she was reading _Fifty Shades of Grey_ in the library today. She happened to mention that one of the questions for Christian Grey was “are you gay?” and we both thought it would be great if he actually was. Thus, this fic was born. I must warn my readers, this fic is meant to be a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey and is written by someone who dislikes both the original story and it's source material. Also, I read only what I absolutely had to in order to get the information I needed for this fic, which is to say, I skimmed the first fourteen pages and, purely out of curiosity, the first couple sex scenes. It left me scarred for life. Personally, I like my version better.

Ana fusses prissily in front of the mirror. Her damn hair just isn't behaving, as usual. Grunting in annoyance, she grabs a hair tie and just gathers it up into a ponytail. That should look professional enough for the interview she doesn't want to do anyway. Why did Kate have to be sick today of all days? There were three hundred and sixty-four other days in the year, but Kate had to go and come down with the flu on this day in particular. Some best friend.

Apparently, coming down with the flu means Kate can't go to this interview she managed to secure with some mega-industrialist tycoon Ana has never heard of before. Christian Grey, the CEO of Grey Enterprises, Inc., is an exceptional entrepreneur and major benefactor of the college they both attend. His time is very precious and he doesn't grant interviews frequently. As far as Ana knows, Kate just barely got the go ahead for this one and attempting to reschedule could just lose her the interview altogether.

Sighing, Ana wanders back into the living room of the dorm she shares with her friend, Kate Kavanaugh, who is curled up miserably on the couch.

“I'm so sorry, Ana,” Kate starts in again for the fifth time that morning, “but it took me nine months to get this interview and it'll take me six months to reschedule, if he even will reschedule. Not that it matters, because we'll be out of school by then. As the editor, I can't let this opportunity pass me by.”

“I know, Kate,” Ana says, grimacing. “Just feel better, okay. I left some chicken soup on the stove. Do you need anything else before I leave? Tylenol? NyQuil?”

Kate smiles. “No, thanks. I think I'll just take a nap right here.”

“Alright. Well, I'm off then. Bye.”

“Bye, Ana! Thanks again!”

Ana rolls her eyes as she closes the door on Kate's parting farewell. Yes, this whole trip was a pain in the ass, but at least she was letting Ana borrow her sporty Mercedes CLK. The miles were going to fly by.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The two and a half hour trip sped by in a flash and, suddenly, Ana was peering up at the headquarters for Grey Enterprises, Inc. The building is huge, at least twenty stories of curved glass and steel. Above the glass front doors were the words “Grey House” written in steel similar to the color of the building itself.

It's a quarter to two when she arrives and Ana rushes inside, greatly relieved she's not late. That would be just one more thing to add to the list of stuff ruining her day. Breathing hard probably wouldn't help her any either, so Ana slows down and tries to look less harried than she feels as she walks up to the front desk in the lobby.

The man behind it is gorgeous in his indifference to her. He doesn't even seem to notice her approach or her flustered entry. His dark hair falls gracefully over his forehead and into his eyes. As Ana watches, he blinks and shakes his head, dislodging the inky strands to reveal shining amber eyes focusing intently on his computer screen. He's focusing so intently, in fact, that Ana has to clear her throat twice before he looks up at her, beautifully arched eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. 

“Can I help you?”

“I'm here to see Mr. Grey. Anastasia Steele for Katherine Kavanaugh.”

The man looks her up and down, assessing. The light hitting him at the new angle gives his eyes a golden sheen Ana thinks adds just a bit of mysticism that is just as attractive as his earlier indifference to her was.

“Mr. Grey is expecting you,” the man says finally and points to a nearby elevator. “Take that elevator up to the twentieth floor. You'll be able to see his office.”

Ana thanks him and follows his directions, taking the elevator and riding it up to the top of the building. Typical of the highly successful tycoon to put his office above everyone else. Ana steps out of the elevator, stumbling a bit before catching herself.

“Of all the times to succumb to my clumsiness...” She mutters under her breath, clutching the thick, padded folder to her chest that contains the notes and questions Kate wrote down for her to ask during the interview.

She looks around, trying to figure out where Christian Grey's office was. The man in the lobby said it would be easy to find and a few seconds' searching proves him right. There is an open door just down the hall from her. Fortunately, the door opens in such a way that Ana can see the nameplate on it and just barely make out the words “Christian Grey, CEO” engraved there.

Ana heads for the door, intending to pause just outside it and knock politely to announce her presence, but Fate decided not to be kind to the world's biggest klutz. Just as she stops one of Ana's feet catches on her other one, pitching her forward and right through the doorway. The full-on face plant couldn't have been more graceless, but at least it hides the embarrassed flush burning her cheeks.

She stands slowly, not wanting to look up and meet the eyes of the CEO she has come to interview. Why does she have to make a fool of herself before even opening her mouth? Ana hopes Christian Grey has somehow missed her overly dramatic entrance, but those thoughts come crashing down around her in the next instant.

“You must be Miss Kavanaugh's representative,” a deep, seductive voice says calmly. “She failed to mention your flair for the dramatic, Miss...?”

“My, um, my name is Anastasia Steele,” Ana stutters out, glancing up and getting caught in the man's gaze.

Christian Grey is younger than Ana had thought he would be, and definitely much more attractive. His midnight hair sticks up wildly, which sounds like it should have been a mess, but is somehow very attractively done on Christian. The style keeps his hair out of his silvery grey eyes that did nothing to soften the penetrating stare he is using on her. Ana is struck dumb by him, her mind stuttering to a halt. The only thought in her head that she wants this beautiful man for herself.

“Miss Steele,” he says, nodding.

“Yes?” Ana answers on instinct, realizing belatedly that he was merely finishing his earlier sentence with this new information. Her cheeks redden again when Christian arches a graceful eyebrow at her.

“Please, take a seat,” he offers, seating himself on the large white couch occupying one side of the room.

“Thank you.”

Ana takes the seat Christian indicates on the other end of the couch, glancing curiously around the room. It is large, painted all in white with a high ceiling and large windows behind the only dark piece of furniture in the room. Christian's desk is also large, but, in contrast to the rest of his office, is finished in a dark brown and looks to be made of real wood, probably oak.

“Miss Kavanaugh said this was an interview for her school's newspaper?” Christian prompts, dragging Ana's attention back to him.

“Um, yes,” she affirms, opening the portfolio she is carrying and staring down at Kate's questions.

The interview goes smoothly and they talk for nearly an hour. Eventually, Ana loosens up, but just as she starts to feel comfortable and flirty there's a knock on the door. Both Christian and Ana turn to look as the door opens to reveal none other than the secretary Ana talked to in the lobby.

“Mr. Grey, your three o'clock appointment is here,” he says, completely ignoring Ana like she isn't even in the room.

She looks at Christian, opening her mouth to say something, hopefully something scathing about the rude secretary, but the words stick in her throat and she's left staring with her mouth hanging open. Christian looks like he's forgotten her too, his eyes burning as he stares over her head at his secretary. Ana, irritated, pouts.

“Please, Mr. Grey, just one more question,” she says quickly, before the hot entrepreneur dismisses her.

“Of course, Miss Steele,” he says without taking his intense gaze off the other man. “One more question.”

Ana looks down at her notes, searching for a particularly invasive question she can get away with asking as a small bit of revenge for ignoring her.

“Are you gay, Mr. Grey?”

There is a second of silence during which Ana starts to panic, thinking she's gotten herself into a really embarrassing situation she will never find her way out of, but neither man in the room appears offended or anything other than amused. Christian even smirks knowingly at his secretary, who immediately returns the gesture.

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it.
> 
> For anyone who was curious about the title, there is a reason behind it. Actually, there are three.
> 
> 1) The small reference to the secretary having gold-ish eyes, which also doubles as a reference to the vampires' eyes in _Twilight_.  
>  2) The idea for this parody itself, which I personally thought was "golden."  
> 3) And, perhaps the most obvious, this is a _Fifty Shades of Grey_ AU, Au being the periodic table abbreviation for gold.
> 
> Yes, I have been told I'm weird. All the time, really.


End file.
